My husband, a pastor, is a pretty ordinary guy. Probably much like your husband, he has two legs, two arms and one head. He also breathes ordinary air, drives an ordinary car and lives in an ordinary house. He has one extraordinary wife, but other than that, he's pretty average (ha!) His hair gets messy, his clothes get dirty, he showers, wears underpants and even uses the toilet! Sorry to be so blunt, but do you ever get the feeling some people don't see this about our husbands?

He gets tired, sad and mad. He gets underestimated, undermined and even under the weather. He gets overwhelmed, overcome and overdrawn. He gets misunderstood, misinterpreted, misquoted and misrepresented. He has feelings and emotions. If you tickle him, he laughs. If you hurt him, he cries. Don't you sometimes want to scream at people and say, "Yes, folks. He's human! I know. I live with him! He is a man." And what's wrong with that? The only difference between him and other men is a calling. He is called of God into full-time ministry.

I sometimes feel that people are shocked to discover that my husband has limitations! They are stunned to find out that he has the same number of hours in his day that they do in theirs, or that he couldn't somehow fit more into his day than they do.

We know and accept his limitations. We're glad he's human. We even get to remind him of that every now and then, but we love him just like he is — human and all! We are his helpmate; but even more than that, we are Mates in Ministry. We serve him as he serves the church. This is a very important role. I often feel we need more education to do our job than he does to do his!

I love my job as the Head Minister to the Minister. I'm responsible for that smile on his face when he walks confidently to the pulpit. I'm responsible for that spring in his step when he heads into the church office. I'm responsible for that dapper suit and tie he is proudly wearing. I'm responsible for that good attitude that helps him to face disgruntled members or difficult counseling situations. I have a big responsibility and I take it seriously, because you see, my minister-husband isn't complete without me. He needs me. He needs my hugs and kisses, and pats on the back, and cheers, and smiles, and "amens"! Well, call me arrogant; but quite frankly, I feel like I'm important to the whole project. You see, I go with him everywhere he goes, even when I don't leave the house!

I can send him out the door with a joyful, happy, loved feeling, where he can tackle the tests and wrestle the enemy to the ground. Or I can send him out the door with a heavy heart, full of hurt or anger, where he will quickly be overtaken by grief and anxiety, unable to jump the smallest hurdle. I am not the Senior Pastor (thank God, or we wouldn't have a church to worry about!) and, though my input is valuable to my husband ultimately, I am not responsible for the way money is spent, ministry is done or employees are hired. My job is bigger than all of that! When I do my job, he can do his. It's easy to tell if I'm doing a good job of ministering to the minister; he gets much more done, and enjoys doing it! Mates, let's not neglect our most important role, that of The Minister to The Minister.

Taken from magazine, Spring 2001.
Article copyright © 2001, Stephanie Wolfe.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
Used by permission.

Stephanie Wolfe is a ministry wife at Calvary Christian Fellowship in Duluth, Ga. She is an international speaker at ladies retreats, conventions, marriage workshops and leadership conferences, a stand-up comedian and author of Mentoring Women. Additionally, she is the founder of a ministry for ministry wives called
"Mates in Ministry."