For Pastor-Husbands Only!

Your wife's spiritual and emotional condition either will enhance or be a detriment to your ministry. Make sure your wife is healthy and feels loved and appreciated by understanding what she needs from you.

  1. Seek to understand your wife. Mentally put yourself into her physical and emotional world to become aware of the demands she faces.
  2. Realize her time and physical and emotional needs are vastly different from yours. Ask her what she needs from you; then meet those needs whether you understand them or not.
  3. Give her time to cultivate friendships with others.
  4. Assure her you care and want to help. If she's running full speed ahead on TIRED, lighten her load by helping out around the house, taking care of the kids or whatever else would help her feel less stress.
  5. Be her best friend, but don't get jealous if she needs a woman friend also.
  6. Pray for her and with her. Don't just pray for the never-ending needs of ministry.
  7. Delegate responsibility if she has taken on too much at church.
  8. Instead of always going to conferences just for ministers, choose a family or marriage conference where she can visit with other ministry wives.
  9. If you usually use vacation time to visit family, plan trips with those she is especially lonesome for or provide travel time and money for her to visit them.
  10. Give her your time. On some of your days off, do things together that you both can enjoy. Many ministry wives are lonesome for their husbands.
  11. Find a ministry couple you and your wife connect with on a friendship and fellowship level.

If you take the time to truly know your spouse — what she likes and dislikes, what makes her tick and ticked and tickled — you'll both be better for it. And so will your ministry.

Article copyright © 2003, Doris Mataya.
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
Used by permission.

Doris Mataya is a retired missionary wife. She and her husband
served throughout rural America for 35 years.