False Intimacy:
Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction

(NavPress, 1997)

Many people think of sex as a need without which they cannot live. They place sex in the same category as air, water and food. However, the real need in a man's life is not sex. He can live without that. His real need is intimacy.

In False Intimacy, Dr. Harry W. Schaumburg understands that intimacy is the underlying need in a man's life. Throughout the book, Schaumburg contrasts false intimacy (a self-created illusion in which a person seeks pleasure without relationship) with real intimacy (an honest relationship between two people wherein pain and self-doubt exist, but also true commitment and love).

False intimacy, he says, is what people find when they dabble in pornography, phone sex, sexual affairs and other manifestations of sexual addiction. They find short-term pleasure, but long-term emptiness. False intimacy is void of closeness, trust and support because the intimacy is not founded in a committed relationship. Dr. Schaumburg shows the reader why people are willing to sacrifice family, career and reputation in exchange for an intimacy that's not even real!

Dr. Schaumburg points the reader away from false intimacy and toward that for which every human being longs: real intimacy. He asserts that real intimacy comes at a price that many are unwilling to pay. In order to discover the joys, and ultimately the fulfillment, that can be found within a healthy relationship, two people must be willing to be vulnerable. Self-doubt, misunderstanding and other hurts may result. Nevertheless, he believes if people are willing to endure the pains of a relationship, they will experience the true pleasures of it -- relationally and sexually. It is in that direction that he points the reader.

– KT


False Intimacy by Harry W. Schaumburg
was published by NavPress in 1997.