How can I help my spouse when he/she experiences moral failure? (Part 2)

The ability to face reality honestly and to begin a plan of action is essential for the person to begin to experience real healing. Those are only the initial steps. Continued support involves additional steps.


Real accountability demands vulnerability. If we cannot confess our struggles to those who love us, we are destined for failure in the recovery process. It is essential that the healing process allow for honest times of sharing. Arrogance or overconfidence is a certain sign of danger. Neither will permit the necessary honesty to seek necessary support.

One sign of supportive change when recovering from moral failure is the establishment of specific times to talk between spouses. These times need to be on a regular basis rather than only at sporadic times of convenience. It is important to not rationalize missing this commitment to each other.


This is one of the most neglected aspects of recovery. Spouses can affirm changes as they observe them by celebrating with each other. As

trust is rebuilt, conversations affirming those gains can be celebrated. When proper steps are taken for recovery, celebration is appropriate. Moral failure is sometimes precipitated to reward oneself. A good counterbalance is to reward positive character building and integrity.


Only God is omnipresent. A significant gift a spouse can give in support of one who has experienced moral failure is to be present with them. Marital drift can encourage secrecy and separateness that allows room for increased temptation. Togetherness is a family strength that needs to be exercised in the recovery from moral failure. It allows the rebuilding of a relationship.

Finally, we should remember that Christ promised to be with us always. His presence is reassuring to us as we decide how we can support each other.